There was an old man of Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
For he said, “To eat mice is not proper or nice,”
That amiable man of Dumbree.
There was an old person of Filey,
Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
And delighted the people of Filey.
There was an old man whose remorse
Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
For they said, “If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
It will certainly soothe your remorse!”
There was an old man of Ibreem,
Who suddenly threaten’d to scream;
But they said, “If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
You disgusting old man of Ibreem!”
There was an old person of Wilts,
Who constantly walked upon stilts;
He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
That elegant person of Wilts.
There was an old person of Grange,
Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
That aquatic old person of Grange.
There was an old person of Newry,
Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
Within twenty miles’ distance of Newry.
There was an old man of Dumblane,
Who greatly resembled a crane;
But they said, “Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
To request you won’t stay in Dumblane?”
There was an old man of Port Grigor,
Whose actions were noted for vigour;
He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
There was an old man of El Hums,
Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
There was an old man of West Dumpet,
Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
There was an old person of Sark,
Who made an unpleasant remark;
But they said, “Don’t you see what a brute you must be,
You obnoxious old person of Sark!”
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